Love for All :Valentine’s Day 2020

Hello, dear Soul-Searchers! How was your week?

Well, I had an almost productive week actually.

I got some bit of PhD work done.

I caught up with my daily exercise routine, which I had been giving a miss as I was not keeping well.

I attended an excellent talk by Prof. Nivedita Menon on Indian feminism in the present-day context.

I had a nice dinner with my fellow PhD colleagues and friends after the talk.

And, here I am now writing a blog post to share with you guys this week. (I am trying to keep my promise. Yay!)

Anyway, let us focus on today. Today is the 14th of February, and it is Valentine’s Day: A day when we celebrate love, isn’t it? So, while I was thinking of what to write for this week’s blog post, I just couldn’t move pass specific thoughts. And they are definitely about love. So, let’s begin.

In the course of this one week, I have experienced or witnessed or heard certain things. They are things which are hateful, devoid of sensitivity and tolerance, and certainly against the idea of love.

1. The week begins with my friends from Delhi University sharing news of what recently happened in Gargi College. And I was shaken. (I am sharing the link here for you all to read it. Click here to read.) But the gist is this, a group of unidentified men forcefully entered the all-girls’ college on one of their annual fest days. These men sexually and physically harassed and molested the women present on the campus. Since the college campus was overcrowded, these women students had to stand there along with their harassers because they couldn’t move out.

I don’t know what more to say actually.

I have lived in Delhi for a couple of years, and I have personally faced similar circumstances of eve-teasing and groping. And none of this is tolerable. One shouldn’t tolerate any kind of harassment, at all. Raise your voice. Dissent. Create and spread awareness of gender sensitization.

The men harassing those women in the college is NOT okay.

Catcalls, eve-teasing, groping is NOT okay.

Staring unnecessarily at someone as if you can scan their bodies is NOT okay.

Blaming the harassed for their lack of tolerance, for what they are wearing or eating or drinking or smoking, is NOT okay.

One should be tolerant towards humanity but tolerating violence of any sort is NOT okay.

2. Love can be of all sorts and kinds: love for your family, your partner of any sex, animals, fellow humans. Love simply is for everyone. Do not judge someone for loving in their own ways just because their ideas are different from yours. Do not hate someone for that. One may love a cat or a dog very dearly. Do not despise the cat or the dog or the person liking them because you do not like animals yourself. In this case, be tolerant of life, in general.

3. Romantic love has always caught our attention. So much has been written on this kind of love. You may fall in and fall out of love with someone. That is alright. But cheating on your partner is not okay (If you are in a closed relationship that is. Open relationships with each other’s consent is a different thing. Well, that is not technically cheating then.)

There will be differences between two people. It is bound to be so, we are different individuals. Instead of arriving at fast conclusions, why don’t we discuss our problems with one another? Dialogues are a necessary element in one’s relationship. We should be ready to improve our weaknesses. We should listen to the other perspectives and honour them, even if we may not agree with them.

One may fall out of love with someone. There may be such circumstances when our efforts at keeping our relationship do not work. Then it is always better to talk to your partner about your decision to move out and justify it. You need to honour the fact that your partner deserves an explanation. And give that to your partner. Closures can be logical, friendly, well-done and mutual. Your good memories with that person can be added to your life. When a healthy relationship ends, it need not necessarily end on a note of hatred.

4. Let us be happy in others’ happiness. Let us spread some positivity and love for someone else’s achievements or problems. It is saddening to see people finding sadistic pleasure when others fall at some point in their lives. It is disheartening to see people dislike when others accomplish something at some point in their lives. Really, success and failures come to everyone’s life, don’t they? Why can’t we share them openly with others then, without the fear that we might be laughed at, or disliked for all we have?

Well, this is it for today. Think over what we talked about today. These are only a few things that have come to my mind this week. Do we love openly? Do we love life? Do we let everyone love the way they want to love? Do we really understand what love is?

Have a wonderful weekend and a happy Valentine’s Day! Go and be love from today. See you all next week. Till then,

Happy Soul-Searching!

Author: The SoulSearcher

The writer is a research scholar in English literature, an avid reader and sucker for life philosophies

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